Bright Eyes
by howrrl
Summary: London, 1977. Natalya is a rich girl who goes to the best known Academy for young women in England: but as soon as she steps out of school, she is the heart of the punk scene of Camden Town with her gang. Things start to change for the cold and smart girl when she falls in love with Lili, her new classmates who's so much different than her. [Historical AU] [Belaliech]
1. 1

_Author's note: Hi! This is the first story I publish, so I'm a little nervous. I've been thinking about this AU for months, but I gained the courage to actually put it into words a week ago. I'd like to thank Lily ( waitineedaname on tumblr) for editing my fanfic, as I'm still learning and I always make mistakes. Thanks a lot!_

 _This story is BelaLiech, but other pairing are included. Even if you don't like one of them, I can assure they won't disturb you since they'll only make a brief appearence. However, these ships are: Gerita, Spamano, Rochu, Pruhun, Usuk._

 _I hope you enjoy this story. I appreciate every review, because it's my first time publishing a text completely in English and not in my native language. I need some feedback, you know? Also, I'm very proud of this AU, and I hope you'll like it as much as I do._

 _Enjoy!_

* * *

Natalya was tired.  
She was sitting absently on her high chair, leaning her arms on the counter and slowly swirling an empty glass around her hands. She stopped and looked for a moment at her hand: it was scratched and full of bruises, as usual. She let out a sigh and put her hand against the cold glass again.

That was not the first day she had seen that cop: it was the second, maybe third time that the muscular man tackled them. Natalya doubted he knew their refuge, but he surely had identified their faces.  
The others had noticed too. They hadn't talked about it yet, but Natalya reserved total faith to her gang's observing skills. They were the best and toughest gang in all Camden Town, punks said, and Natalya was convinced about that too. Her friends were chosen ones, smart people who promised not to betray each other and not to do anything without the whole group's consent. No quarrels were authorized in the gang. One mistake or one wrong word, and Natalya wouldn't hesitate to kick them out, all of them: Yao, Arthur, Eliza, and the twins.

That new Alfred kid who was recently arrived wasn't in. He just showed up one day, saying he wanted to be in. But he was too naïve for the world they lived in, the girl often thought. Alfred was just a child who wanted to play the "punk", but that's not what they were doing. They were solitary people with various issues who had found each other and sticked together. That's as simple as it was, and at the same time, it was much more complicated.

And this wasn't a game at all, Natalya thought. If they actually had a cop after them, it meant things were getting serious, though she couldn't recall any recent incident with the police. Sure, they weren't in good terms with the authorities, but they had always managed to avoid direct confront with guns or to be tracked by the police. The authorities considered them just a bunch of rebel teenagers: that was their generation, the kids that wandered in the streets these days, and they weren't something new, nor something in any way dangerous for security.

Then what was with this cop all of sudden?

Natalya sighed and looked up to the bottles classified in perfect order in front of her, that harmony created by the bartender. He was a Swissman: he was as precise as a clock and he wouldn't let them stay one minute after the closing time, or wouldn't let them raise their voices over a certain (and very low) limit. Regardless of this, Vash Zwingli always had room in his bar for the guys, and they were grateful for his hospitality. He was a bit of a brawler, but he was kind under the unfriendly attitude, and the usual customers knew that.

Bottles were shining under the warm lights that were placed over Natalya's head, and she could see from here the interior of the bar. On the red couches were her comrades, Arthur drinking alcohol as usual and Alfred near him, not taking his eyes away for a minute. On another bottle she could see Yao, Eliza and the Italian Twins chatting lively, especially Feliciano. She was glad the Bad Touch Trio wasn't there tonight to annoy them, really.

"Would you like anything else to drink, miss?"

Natalya turned fast her head hearing not the bartender's voice, but a sweet and velvety sound coming from behind the counter. Here, a girl was looking at her, with a tiny smile and bright eyes.  
Natalya was sure she hadn't seen her before, as she went there almost every evening. She blinked and rapidly motioned her blue eyes from her face to her body, just where her sight was stopped by the counter, and in a second returned to her eyes again.  
The girl had two emerald eyes who directed to her with an intelligent and slightly shy gaze.  
She had a small, pointy nose, and rosed lips that curved up into a smile. Her skin was light as porcelain, and blond locks fell lightly on her forehead. Everything in her face was tiny, really, apart from those big eyes, limpid and beautiful.  
She was dressed in a dark blue dress that carried well her gracious posture; she kept her porcelain hands in her lap, intertwined, showing modesty.

"I think I'll have a scotch, thanks."

The girl bowed a little and skittered to reach Vash, who she exchanged a few words with. The man started walking up to Natalya and took a bottle from the shelters to start pouring her drink.  
Natalya cleared her voice.

"Vash, who's the girl?"

"Lili, my sister. " He said while pouring. "Our father just died and she can no longer live alone up in Switzerland. I have her care now."

Natalya took the glass he slid to her in her hand, while looking with the corner of her eye at the girl. She was looking curiously to the people on the couches.

"How old is she?"

"18. She goes to the same school of you, in the last year."

"She's starting tomorrow?"

"Yes."

She continued to stare at her. The moment Lili turned her head and noticed Natalya's gaze, she blushed and quickly looked at her feet.

"I see."

"Natalya."

Vash glared at her.

"One of your gang leans a finger on her, you're all dead."

She sustained the gaze without any fear of the man in front of her.

"I will be the first one to punish one of them if they do."

She was confident in her words, and at the same time, she trusted with all her soul that her friends wouldn't ever act in an unrighteous way.


	2. 2

_A/N: Hi again! This is the first proper chapter of 'Bright Eyes'._

 _Before starting, a super important note: thanks to doodle-booty on Tumblr to let me use their Art as a cover for my fic. Their work is awesome and I'm happy to have it associated with my work._

 _Also, thank you to waitineedaname to help me editing this!_

 _Enjoy!_

* * *

Natalya was born in the wealth. Though she had a parallel life going on during Camden Town's nights, she was a Braginsky, which was one of the richest families of Russia.

…

Her mother died when she was little because of cancer. She couldn't recall anything, but Katyusha used to spend evenings near the heath of the fireplace to tell her about the beautiful woman who was Anya Veaceslovna Braginsky.

Apparently, the woman looked a lot like Ivan, and she was a very calm and patient person. Katyusha could go on for hours talking about the amazing bedtime stories she always came up with, how she was the funniest to be around to, and about how much she loved their father, Nikolai Aleksandrovich Braginsky.

Nikolai was the kindest person Natalya had ever met. He always had a smile on his face and gave his kids all the love they needed in warm hugs, little attentions, and offering them the best life possible by working hard. But he suffered terribly of his wife's death, even if he never mentioned it to his beloved children.

Natalya remembered clearly one night, more or less a month later her mother's death, in which she woke up in the middle of the night because of a horrible nightmare. The little girl tiptoed on the timber of the narrow corridor outside of her room, just to his father's room door.

It wasn't closed. A ray of light brightened her eyes, and she refrained from going in at the sound of her father's heavy sobs.

...

The Braginskys were very rich because of Nikolai's business. He owned a factory of chocolate, which was a best-selling product in Russia due to its ability of giving energy to fight the cold winter and to heat up the body.

Natalya loved how her father's skin always smelled of chocolate. When she was little, she dreamed of owning that chocolate factory, and being in their little house in the Russian land forever with him, Katyusha and Ivan.

That was her dream, but not everything goes as planned.

And that's because Natalya was smart.

She started when she was little, doing well in Mathematics and scientific subject. But she was still average, back in the elementary school.

From middle school on, she couldn't help it, but Mathematics just came naturally to her. She just loved the perfection and cold order of numbers, the sense of protection and stability they gave her. She wasn't receiving enough love. Her father kept working and working, and Katyusha, kind and mature, still wasn't her mother.

Ivan was depressed. He never talked about mum, and became a really quiet and reserved adolescent. He smiled, but wasn't really happy. Natalya loved her brother with her whole heart and she felt it break into thousands of pieces each time she saw Ivan curled up on the couch near the window, soullessly observing the slow fall of the snow.

And her, Natalya, the little one, she had the Mathematics. Her world felt a lack of something, and she replaced it with math. Other subjects were easy, too. She could easily have the best grade of the class by just reading once the book.

When her father noticed her intelligence, he immediately decided that 'his little princess' needed to be sent to England to study, not in the first school he found, but to the best educational environment he could find to nurture her global culture.

He thought that Ivan needed to change from the boring and plain Russian steppe, which maybe was the cause of the illness which his son wouldn't talk about: so he set up the trip and apartment for the two to live together.

The day he told them, a snow storm was raging outside the big house and they were all sitting in the kitchen, quietly having their lunch; though Katyusha couldn't hide her excitement for her little siblings. She was more of a handy-girl, and had prospect to be an awesome engineer. She wanted her siblings to fine happiness, even if it didn't involve their family business.

Heard the news, Natalya froze in place with her fork and knife mid-air and stared in shock at her father, who was smiling widely, while Ivan just continued to eat quietly his Golubtsi. While his teeth crunched the ball of savoy cabbage and rice, his mind was being eaten up by something different the others couldn't see.

And that's how Natalya, a Russian, ended up frequenting the most classy and luxurious high-school for young women, Queen Ann's Academy. Ivan went to University, studying Fine Arts, and they lived in the same apartment in the heart of London, near Kensington's Gardens. It was pretty expensive, actually, but they had money, enough for Natalya to attend the most notable and well-known all-females Academy of England.

…

Class had just started, and she found herself in her usual corner of the room. She tossed the heavy, purple backpack with the school's golden emblem at the side of her seat and fell on her chair with an annoyed expression written all over her face. Outside the rain was beating loudly on the windows, lightning brightened the entire dark classroom every few minutes. Once the teacher entered the small and cozy classroom, everyone stood up, and after a few minutes a petite girl entered with uncertain steps. Natalya kept her gaze firm as she followed the little figure moving to the desk. Once the girl did half a turn to face the girls' faces, their eyes met for a brief moment, before she suddenly skipped to look at another classmate.

That's Lili Zwingli, she thought as she sat down again and put her chin on her palm.

"I'm Lili. I just moved here from Switzerland." She said. "I look forward to be with all of you!"

Lili smiled lightly and so did the other girls from their desks, liking the spontaneity of the new arrival. As soon as Lili's eyes met Natalya's again, she parted her lips to show a bright, toothy smile.

The teacher didn't give her seat next to Natalya, but that didn't stop the Russian girl from looking at her during the whole lesson.

…

At the ring bell, Natalya stood up and started to get closer to Lili, but the entirety of the class just launched themselves to the girl, bombarding her with questions, blocking Natalya from actually introducing herself.

She bit her lip. How annoying!

Natalya hated crowds. She decided to turn on her heels and go back to her desk, in the dark corner of her class, take a book out of her bag, walk outside the classroom and wander through corridors.

The halls were magnificent. There was purple carpet on dark wood, while the walls were very light and high, and were embellished with enormous windows which showed for the majority of time London's cloudy weather. Natalya loved it. It gave atmosphere to the whole place. Since she was there, she could as well enjoy it.

She ended up in a solitary staircase, reading her book during lunchtime.

It was 'Doctor Zhivago', a novel by Boris Pasternak. She was reading it in its original language, obviously.

She was there, enjoying the book in the peace that the deserted stairway offered, when she suddenly saw a blonde head coming up from the lower floor; she recognized it immediately and waited for her to turn and see her sitting there.

When Lili's eyes lifted the gaze from below and saw Natalya's figure gently sat with her back against the wall, the girl brightened up and jumped graciously over the steps that separated the two. Natalya was staring at her, and she watched her stop in front of her, with her hands behind her back.

"Could I sit here, please?"

Natalya nodded. "Go ahead."

Lili crouched down near Natalya, who had her legs bended and her feet fixed to the ground that pushed her back against the wall. The girl stretched the extremely long skirt of their uniform behind her butt and let her legs slide on the steps, though they were entirely covered up by the purple cloth.

"We met yesterday, but I didn't have the chance to introduce myself." She said, her rose cheeks rising by her natural smile. "As you know, I'm Lili…"

"Natalya Braginsky." She answered in her quiet tone.

Lili took a small breath. "Too many people were talking to me, so I asked where the toilet was. I didn't think I would meet you here!" She sounded sincerely happy to have found her. "Oh, uhm, but if this is your personal space, I'm sorry for being intrusive, that wasn't my intention at all."

'Just how polite is this girl?' Natalya thought, watching her talk. The corner of her lips curled up for a second.

"Don't worry about it. I wanted to talk to you too, but I don't like crowds either."

"You don't?" Lili asked. "Why is it, if I can ask?"

Natalya shrugged. "I grew up in a quiet place… "

"Me too! I was in a small village in Switzerland."

"I'm Russian." She let out, and turned her book to show the girl the front side. It was the photo in bright colours of a man, Cyrillic alphabet wrote over his head.

"What book is it?" Lili asked curiously, leaning in to the cover.

"Doctor Zhivago, by Boris Pasternak."

"I heard of that one." Lili nodded. "He's one of the Russian main authors, like Dostoevsky, right? Is it a good book?"

Natalya shrugged again. She had to stop that annoying habit she had right now. "It is, just a little boring here and there."

"I see! I will read it after I finish with Emma."

"Jane Austen?"

"Yes. I like that kind of books."

"I'm not really into that kind of high-class romance, as her books are…"

"Oh, that's totally understandable!" Lili said in a firm voice Natalya didn't thought she had. "Everyone has different tastes. I'm just a hopeless romantic, you know?"

"Mhh." Natalya smiled a little, hiding behind her book. She could definitely picture that.

…

As soon as Natalya stepped out of school, she lost track of her new friend. Lili had been immediately neared by her brother, who was waiting for her outside of school in his dark green jacket, freezing because of the cold winter temperature.

She watched Lili fret near Vash and walk away, but suddenly the little girl turned her face to her side so she could see Natalya with the corner of her eye, and lifted her gloved hand for a second to wave goodbye.

Natalya tightened her scarf around her neck and responded to the greeting, watching the Swiss siblings walk always in a rush.

…

The Braginskys' English Residence was really near to the Academy, and Natalya each and every day did the same path to go back and forth from her house. She and Ivan lived in a bright red mansion, made of red bricks, which was facing a private street. There was therefore no annoying sound coming from the streets, and Natalya liked that very much.

It reminded her of Russia.

The neighbours were very quiet too, and had offered their help to the Russian siblings as soon as they moved there. But the two never asked for help; they wanted to be independent and to maintain a certain gap between them and the others. The two were really reserved and they were enough to each other.

Natalya opened the door and listened in complete silence for some seconds, to see if here brother was home or not.

He wasn't. He was probably still at university, she thought.

Natalya quietly took off her moccasins and walked in her white stocks on the light brown timber to her room.

She liked to keep things in order. The large bed, covered by dark blue duvet with stars on it, was perfectly made, and Christmas lights hanged on the wall behind it. On the other side of the room was a desk with an oval mirror hanging over it. On the surface, there were the few make up accessories she used.

She took a seat in the white covered chair, and looked at the reflected image of the girl that was glaring at her.

She had pale, long hair, which she kept backwards by using a headband with a blue ribbon on it. That was the only accessory that school authorized her, and anyway, the only one she carried on herself.

Her eyelashes were as pale as her hair: they were very long, but almost couldn't be seen. Under her eyelashes, her dark blue eyes, which she didn't like at all. She would've much more preferred her brother's violet eyes, so special, or her sister's light ones. She had just this strange tone of blue that she couldn't bring herself to like.

Natalya opened her red lips and sighed. She extended her hand and took the black eyeliner, removing the cap with a clicking sound and bringing it to her catlike eyes. She traced the first black mark and started her transformation from polite and modest girl to rebel teenage in the slums of London.

* * *

 _A/N: I wanted to say just a few curiosities!_

 _Golubtsi it's an actual Russian meal. It's made of vegetables and rice rolled in a savoy cabbage leaf. They're like tiny balls and you have to put one entirely in your mouth or it'll open up and make a mess! My best friend (which is Russian) made me eat them at her house._

 _If you haven't already guessed it, Mrs. Braginsky was Nyo!Russia._

 _In Russia, you use the patronymic after the first name. So Anya Veaceslovna Braginsky means she's the daughter of Veaceslav. I gave her father this name because my best friend's name is Anya too; therefore I gave 's father the same name as her._

 _No, Nikolai isn't Nyo!Belarus. I just like the name._

 _I actually am reading Doctor Zhivago. As Nat said, it's a bit boring here and there, but it's not bad at all._

 _And finally, I know Natalya's eyes are violet in canon, but I like to picture her with this slightly different colour. I think it fits her better. Forgive me this one, please._

 _Hope you enjoyed, please please leave a review and have a nice day!_


	3. 3

_Hi everyone! New chapter, this time ft. Historical Character._

 _As always, thanks to waitineedaname on tumblr for helping me editing (this time I confused the meaning of 'to do' and 'make out with', so thank God she clarifies those terrible mistakes of mine)._

 _Enjoy!_

…

"And where in the world is Lovino?"

"He's probably with Antonio at the moment."

She lifted her gaze to Elizabeta, who was lighting her cigarette and taking a deep drag of smoke. The Hungarian was sitting on the garbage bin with her legs crossed, while all the others were sitting on the ground, and Natalya was standing still.

"He's leaving in a week or so, right?"

The brunette let the smoke out of her mouth and sighed. "Yeah. They knew it before starting the whole thing, but…"

Yao let out an unamused laugh. "I'm expecting rivers of tears when the man goes away."

Arthur punched him on the shoulder. "Stop joking, this is serious."

"I know, I'm telling the truth."

Feliciano kept quiet and continued to draw in his sketchbook. Usually he would interrupt in conversations regarding his twin brother, but when the Italian was drawing, his chatty nature hid and no gossip could distract him from his pencil and the paper.

"Hey," Yao called out, "What're you drawing, Feli?"

The boy lifted his head rapidly, and looked at him with an embarrassed expression. "Nothing, really."

The intelligent eyes of Yao gazed intently at Feli's slightly scared ones, then smiled and show his very white teeth.

"Chill, I know you get flustered when you're working on something. But show me when you're done."

Feliciano seemed relieved, and nodded lightly before continuing tracing lines. Natalya suspected something, but decided not to worry about it too much. It would eventually come out by itself. Feliciano wasn't a person to keep secrets anyway.

It was just an average day for them. Yao had escaped his house (or prison), Arthur's sister was taking care of his mother, and Elizabeta and Feli had deserted their private tutors again. Lovino was with Antonio, but he would be at the bar later on, Natalya knew that for sure. Along with Gilbert and Francis.

And, as any other regular day, they were just chilling in a deserted alley, smoking and talking, sometimes playing cards. Natalya still wondered _why_ they were considered a gang. They did nothing, really, apart from spending time doing nothing together.

Maybe it was because they had actually beaten up people who wanted to mess with them? Natalya remembered that some guys had started to insult Arthur, who was at the time the only one known in the area, but those human garbage cans didn't continue to say bullshit much longer. Neither she, nor the others, would let someone insult a friend.

And after that episode, they became some sort of legend there. It happened again and again, and every time they ended up beating the hell out of the idiots who had the guts to challenge them. Harming people wasn't their intention, really, but they wouldn't let some dickheads beat them.

Idiots. If only they knew...

"Nat, hey, Nat?"

She blinked and realized Elizabeta was waving her hand in front of her.

"What?"

Eliza looked at her with an innocent expression, thought it wasn't very convincing, seeing the layers of black eyeliner circulating around her green eyes and the way she was dressed. Her gloved hand held out an empty packet of cigarettes.

"I finished 'em."

Natalya eyed her worriedly and sighed. "It's the second packet in three days…"

The Hungarian shrugged. "I'm stressed."

"Yeah, it must be tough making out with Gilbert all the time, huh?" Yao shouted.

"Will you shut the fuck up for once?" She roared angrily, turning and throwing the packet at the guy's head. "It's none of your business."

"So you really did." Arthur commented with a surprised expression, crossing his arms over his ripped black shirt. Elizabeta face became scarlet red.

"I SAID, I DO NOT!"

"Guys, guys," Feliciano said innocently from behind his sketchbook, "It's not true."

"Thanks, Feli."

"They've only kissed yet."

While Arthur and Yao turned their lips into a perfect 'O', Eliza put desperately her hand over eyes.

"For God's Sake, I can't."

Natalya patted her shoulder understandingly.

She let out her authoritative voice. "Okay, enough. Get up, we're restocking in cigarettes."

…

Elizaveta happily held her brand new packet of cigarettes between hands, while Arthur tugged at her arm to freeload one. Natalya walked with her hand in her pockets.

She smiled at seeing her friend so happy. When Eliza had said she was stressed, she wasn't lying. Her ups and downs with Gilbert had become more and more drastic in the last months. He kept being stupid, as he had always been, first saying he would've fought for her and then retiring everything he said, and she kept being in love, first believing his words and then going crying in Natalya's arms desperately.

Natalya's heart cried for her sobbing best friend, and she couldn't stand seeing that coward Gilbert every fucking evening at the bar with his stupid friends. She swore that one day or another she would end up beating the hell out of the German.

Natalya's eyes wandered through the crowd moving around them, and stopped when they noticed something unbelievable. The new kid, Alfred… Jones. He stood here, with his out-standing hoodie between all those leather jackets, chatting amiably with none other than Sid Vicious.

"Arthur, what the hell is that?" she asked, not hiding her irritated tone. "I told you to make sure the kid wouldn't do anything stupid. He's talking to fucking Sid Vicious."

The brit's face became as pale as a ghost as he saw the scene, while Natalya just rolled her eyes.

"You're an idiot." Elizaveta commented, lighting a cigarette.

Arthur started marching rapidly to the two, followed by the other four behind him. Alfred and Sid both turned their head to the upcoming boy. Alfred smiled brightly, while Sid sneered in amusement.

"Oh, hey, Artie!"

Arthur completely ignored the nickname that usually made him mad and immediately stoop between the two, glaring aggressively at Sid.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

"Nothing, man, nothing."

Arthur laughed bitterly. "You, doing nothing? Those three words can't exist in the same phrase."

The dark-haired boy brought a hand to his heart and assumed a hurt expression.

"Now you're offending me, _Artie."_ He let out a hysterical laugh while Arthur snorted, annoyed. Before he could answer, Sid added: "I'm not selling him anything, okay? He doesn't look the type."

"Hey, what do you mean?"

"Alfred, shut the hell up, okay?" Arthur barked, not turning his head and looking at Sid dead in the eye.

"Oh, shit." Elizabeta whispered, Yao nodding with his arms crossed. The quartet had stopped a few meters away, just outside of the conversation.

"Nat," Feliciano said in her ear, "I think we should do something or he's going to break Sid's face…"

They heard Sid talking again: "No need to get so worked up about your chick, okay, _Artie_?"

Before Arthur could slap him, Natalya sprinted to them and showed up with the courteous smile she always wore at school.

"Hey, Sid."

"Look, here's little Nat!" Sid's attention immediately left Arthur and went to her. "Whatcha doing here? You usually prefer staying away from here, don't you?"

Natalya eyed Arthur for a second with a death gaze, telling him to shut the fuck up and get away.

"Hmm, I heard you Sex Pistols have some news?"

The smile he already had grew and became huge. Sid was actually a nice boy, with a pretty face and a kind personality. Too bad he liked to act like a bitch and did drugs. Natalya felt bad for him.

"We sure do. Awesome to see you remember. Today _Never Mind The Bollocks, Here's The Sex Pistols_ got out!" he shouted, deafening her. "Isn't it awesome? Yeah, I'm famous now. Soz."

She knew it very well, and she also knew that if they were in the most crowded street he probably would've been assaulted by fans.

"Yeah, I'm happy for you, Sid."

"I think that if you ask Johnny he'll sure have a free copy for you, I know he has a weak spot for you."

She cringed internally as she heard Yao and Eliza giggling behind her.

"Will do."

She gestured him to get closer, as he was too tall to reach and whispered in his ear: "Sorry for Arthur. He's in a bad mood today."

" 's okay. I know he's a fan anyway, I will forgive him." He said genuinely, before getting distracted by the sight of a female figure standing at the corner of the street. Natalya saw his eyes immediately brightening up as soon as he saw her.

"I have to go, Nancy's waiting for me."

Natalya glared at her, and said sadly: "Don't throw yourself away, Sid."

He smiled like a child. "Nancy loves me, don't worry. Listen to the CD, see you!" he waved as he trotted up to Nancy. As soon as he reached her, he leaned down to kiss her passionately and then put an arm around her uncovered shoulders.

"What an idiot." Arthur commented, few steps away.

"He's an idiot, but you still want me to ask Johnny for a free copy of the CD, don't you?"

He shrugged. "He may be stupid but the band's good."

She turned to face Alfred, who was standing beside him. Didn't he know Sid Vicious did drugs? How could a kid like him handle a heroin addicted?

"I see you acting like an imbecile again and I will fucking kill you, you hear me?"

She couldn't care the slightest about him, if only it wasn't for Arthur. He would be the one to suffer because of Alfred's stupidity and she wouldn't let that happen. Arthur had already enough issues without him.

Alfred swallowed and seemed to be ready to answer back; Arthur placed a hand on his shoulder and shook his head.

Natalya walked in between the two, the others following at her sides like wings.

"So, Johnny Rotten has a thing for you, Nat?"

"Mind your business for once in your life!"

…

As expected, The Bad Touch Trio was here. Dickheads.

Natalya watched Antonio welcoming Lovino on his lap, Francis hoping to get on Arthur's lap, and Gilbert trying to persuade Eliza onto his own lap.

She took a sip of her beer, observing them. Yao had to go home, because of his parents, and she was here with Feliciano. She liked him. He was very smart, much more than one could think. He was also kind and good-natured, and had a talent for arts. She could always be at ease when around him.

She turned to face him. "Are you tired, Feli?"

"No, not at all. But I'll admit I kind of want to go home."

He eyed the others, and Natalya nodded understandingly. She hated it when they were here, too. Those three destroyed her evenings by annoying her friends.

Ah, Alfred was here, too. He was pouting in the corner of the sofa, watching Francis purring to an annoyed Arthur.

Feliciano sighed. "When had things started to get this complicated?"

She shrugged. "They had always been, though it has gotten worse since Gilbert started housing these students…"

Feliciano giggled. "Yeah, you're right. I didn't think it would all change this much in a year."

She nodded and sip her drink again. Out of the corner of her eye, she was observing Lili. The girl stood in the corner, this evening with a splendid burgundy-coloured dress, and had a white embroidered apron around her hips.

"Nat, she was here yesterday too. Who's she?" Feliciano asked curiously, noticing her intense gaze.

"Uh, she's Lili, Vash's sister. She moved here because they have no more relatives in Switzerland, and she didn't have anyone to stay with."

Lili dusted her skirt graciously.

"I see."

She continued to stare at her, and when Lili noticed, she waved cutely towards her. Natalya felt her cheeks burn, but didn't change her facial expression the slightest.

Feliciano smiled and stood up. "I'll go to the bathroom."

He walked up to the girl, who stood near the toilet's door, and exchanged a few words with her. Natalya saw her lifting her closed hand to cover her lips and laugh, and felt the urge to get up and strangle the Italian boy. She heard Vash shouting from the other side of the room, cleaning the counter, and Feliciano turned for a second to face Natalya and smirk before going into the toilet.

Natalya sighed and sipped her beer again, finishing it. After some moments, Lili skittered to her.

Natalya had seen her that morning, but she was so happy to see her smiling again.

"You want another one, miss?"

Formal as the day before.

"Sure", she said.

Lili leaned in to take the empty glass, but didn't get up. She shot a glance behind her, to see if her brother was watching, and neared her lips to Natalya's ear. The Russian felt a shiver down her spine when Lili whispered, covering her mouth with her hand: "You know, my brother has told me not to talk to you. I think I know why, but I also think I won't listen to him."

Natalya's lower jaw fell to the ground as she watched the petite girl straightening up with an innocent smile on her face, and walking away. She wasn't one to get easily surprised, but she sure wasn't expecting this from Lili.

…

 _Yeaaa another chapter! This one's a little longer. Sorry if I didn't really go on with Nat and Lili's story, but I thought it was necessary to give a general overview of the guys' normal day. Next chapter will have more of them, I promise._

 _Also, yes, I made them meet with Sid Vicious. And this chapter takes place exactly on October 28_ _th_ _1977, when the first (and only) Sex Pistol's album was released. Yep, I'm a nerd. Also, I'm very interested in Sid Vicious and Nancy Spungen's relationship. I believe he was a cinnamon roll at heart and he became a sinnamon roll along the way. Poor Sid._

 _Also, #APHBelarusisnotaheartlessbitch2k16 is now a thing. I tried to make it as clear as possible that while she might be cold, this doesn't mean she doesn't care._

 _Thank you for reading!_


	4. 4

_Yes I'm back! Sorry for the long wait, school has been particularly tiring in the last weeks, and actually, last week I had an intensive English course. Wow. Very impressive._

 _But I promise I won't take as long to post the next chapter, because it will be intense and emotional and I so want to write it. Stay tuned because great things are about to happen. I didn't like this one as much, but it was necessary to the story. I did my best anyway._

 _Thanks for your patience, enjoy and please leave a review!_

…

Natalya looked at the integral that was written in front of her for a brief moment before smiling with the corner of her lips. She hadn't opened the book once, but what she had seen at the blackboard the last time was more than enough.

She turned her head to her side to look at the teacher, a blonde-haired Finnish man.

"Can I start?"

"Yes, please."

She posed the chalk on the board and started scribbling rapidly, numbers clouding her mind. It was as if she was a machine, without really any intention but with an innate mission to complete. Her mind fizzed with immediate answers, and her hand proceeded methodically to write them down. Professor Vainamoinen almost didn't care to look at the results anymore; he knew she would've been correct. He just asked her to solve a problem a month so he could confirm her math grade, but she hadn't been wrong once in the two years he had known her.

Natalya quickly filled all the possible space and made a little bow in direction of the professor.

"Sir, I need to erase here."

"Just wait until the others are done."

She stepped aside the blackboard, to let her classmates copy on their notebooks. Natalya saw Lili's mouth open while looking at the integral, and she instinctively tightened the grip on the chalk, which she was holding with her hands in her lap. She was standing still in the position she had been taught to assume while waiting, with her spine rigidly straight.

Lili eyed her absently for a moment before focusing again on the ordinated lines Natalya had written on the board, and the Russian continued to observe her intently.

Lili was sitting in the front seat, so she could see her perfectly. Her white hand held a blue pen, and she posed her weight on the resting hand, slightly turning her head in concentration. Her hair fell on her eyes and her ribbon was cutely dangling on her ear. When she looked up, she moved her gaze to Natalya just for a second, then to the board, to her notebook and then repeating it all again. Natalya thought she could explode every time Lili looked at her.

"Keep going, please."

She cleaned it up leaving the last line and continuing on the top, just as she did before. The calculus continued smoothly, as always. Though Natalya's mind, this time, wasn't completely on the problem she was developing. She kept seeing bright, green eyes shining at her.

She continued numbly doing her exercise, and found the solution. Easy.

"Is this correct?" she asked.

Professor Vainamoinen inspected cautiously her lines, until his eyes stopped surprised at one specific point.

"Uh, actually," he said, uncertain of his own words, "You wrote something wrong."

Silence fell heavy in the class.

"And what is it?" she asked after some seconds, her voice slightly rising from her usual low tone.

"Here." He stood up and pointed at a multiplication. "You got distracted, negatives multiplied by positives stay negative."

She fixed her eyes on the spot he was pointing to. She felt her mind exploding and every fiber of her blindly hating that multiplication that was just a stupid, normal thing everyone could do. Her eyes were burning, she was sure of this, and her lips bleeding from biting them so violently.

"That's not such a big deal." Vainamoinen said, kindly placing a hand on her arm. "You just got distracted, that's all."

She shrugged his tiny hand away in annoyance and turned around, facing her astonished classmates' faces for a second before marching to her seat with her eyes fixed on the ground.

The moment she had seen all their faces, she had also noticed Lili's big eyes, looking calmly at her: the very same by which she felt so desperately numbed, and at the same time, desperately attracted to.

…

Natalya looked at her horribly puffy and bloodshot eyes. She looked crazy. She pushed her weight onto the palm of her hand, pressed on the sink's edge, to see her own face closer.

The bathroom was empty, luckily. She had rushed inside and had been staring at her crying face for some minutes.

She thought of the day of her mother's death. She knew she had been crying, but she hadn't looked at herself in the mirror… so this was the first time she actually saw her crying expression.

It was horrible. She usually didn't care about her looks, but now she felt ugly and horrific. Her eyelashes were stuck together and her whole face had become very red, and tears continued to rush down her cheeks… though she wasn't hiccupping. Her weeping was very silent.

She heard the bathroom's door opening up and she kept looking at the mirror to see who came in.

As soon as she saw Lili, she turned to her and shouted: "Don't look at me!" before lowering on her knees and curling up to hide her face. She felt embarrassment overwhelm her and the tears flooding profusely on the back on her hand.

She heard Lili's steps coming towards her and suddenly felt a warm touch on her forearm.

"Natalya, it's okay. Don't worry."

The hand caressed her lightly, forth and back.

"Everyone makes mistakes. Nobody judged you for doing that multiplication wrong."

"It's not them." Natalya murmured. "It's me."

After a pause, Lili asked: "Why are you so hard on yourself?"

Natalya didn't know the answer, really, so she just shrugged her shoulders.

"Being wrong isn't something to be angry at yourself about…"

She didn't answer again. Her mind didn't work lucidly: in fact, she was feeling her whole body shaking under the touch of the hand; it was as if everything was dark, in her, around her, except that tiny movement that released warmth.

Suddenly the hand left, but right after that Natalya felt Lili's fingertips making their way through her crossed arms and lightly touch her cheek.

"Come on, Natalya, look at me."

The touch moved with a caress to Natalya's chin and pushed it up with a little pressure. Natalya felt bad for letting herself expose her horribly puffy face to the most beautiful girl in the world, but she had asked it herself.

As soon as she saw Lili's face, she felt her heartbeat fasten uncontrollably. Lili was showing her normal smile, as if there wasn't anything upsetting in this whole situation. It was strange, but Natalya couldn't believe Lili was faking it; she wasn't capable of such a thing.

"Finally I can see your face!" She said sweetly, keeping her fingertips under Natalya's chin. "Wow, so many tears…"

She moved the hand to brush her thumb against her cheeks and clean the wet drops on her face.

Natalya thought her heart was about to explode.

"Come on" the little girl said, as she stood up and offered her hand, "Let's refresh your face, so that you feel better."

Natalya's brain was screaming endlessly as she firmly leaned on the help Lili offered to stand up. She quickly let go of the grip and washed with cold water her face, feeling a rush of cold on her skin.

She turned and looked at the other with her eyes wide open and her face completely wet.

 _Oh my God,_ _I so want to kiss her right now._

"Are you okay now?"

She nodded, trying to freeze her body. "I'm fine, I guess."

Lily parted her lips and smiled with her teeth. "I'm glad."

Natalya couldn't stop herself. Without really thinking about it, she stepped forward, so that she was looking at Lili from right over her blonde head. Lily instinctively lifted her gaze and met her eyes with Natalya's, in pure astonishment. Natalya saw the confusion running through her eyes in a brief moment and tried to decipher if she would've actually accepted her kiss or pushed her away. Lili wasn't moving, and Natalya could see she was holding in her breath. But the confused look was already gone.

She decided that she would go for it. She swallowed and slowly leaned in, closing her eyes, continuing to move forward before feeling a rapid peck on her cheek. She stopped and her blue eyes widened in shock and stared into Lili's, who looked back at her. She could see her cheeks quickly becoming as red as a tomato.

"We should go back to class, shouldn't we?" Lili said flustered, her face completely burning, but not breaking the visual contact.

"Oh. Right. We should go back." Quickly answered the Russian.

"Then let's go."

Lili turned in a rush and started to exit the bathroom with nonchalance, and after a moment Natalya started to follow her: her head was numbing with a burning feeling, and the strong emotion still felt vivid on her body and on the spot where Lili had pecked her.

…

She hated sewing so much it hurt. Literally. There wasn't any single sewing class in which she hadn't lost some blood. That's why her hands were perpetually scratched.

Natalya's lifter her head and her blue eyes wandered in the almost quiet classroom. The girls were reunited with their chairs into small groups, while the teacher was sitting at the desk and was scribbling something on her notebook. Each one of them held a cloth and a needle in her hands, and continued normally sewing while talking in a low tone with the others.

Everyone was asked to do their own flowery motive. She glanced at her own work, wrinkling her nose at the sight of what was supposed to be a dark colored rose. She had tried, really, but even after two years sewing kept being her worst subject.

"What's wrong?"

Lili sat across her, with her own work just at the beginning. They sat in the corner of the room, quietly dedicating to their project in their own little space.

"I don't like sewing…" Natalya admitted, though keeping an inexpressive face.

"My, how come? I find it very relaxing." Lili said with a giggle.

"It's boring and I can't do it."

Lili glanced at her with an amused look. "I think you already put yourself against it and therefore can't manage to do it."

The girl suddenly stood up and posed her instruments on the chair, to then lift it and bring it near Natalya.

"Phew!" she said as she took position again.

"I can help you from here."

Natalya glanced at her and blushed, suddenly remembering the bathroom scene from before. Lili seemed to have forgotten everything, while Natalya, under her cold façade, still felt flustered.

"Are you doing the thorns now?"

"Yes."

Lili gently placed her hand over Natalya's and looked at her timidly.

"Is this alright?"

Natalya swallowed. "Sure."

Lili started to trace the colored path on the cloth with gentle movements, guiding Natalya, who was a block of ice with all of her muscled tensed.

She lifted her dark gaze and saw the other girls murmuring while peeking at them. Lili didn't seem to notice, but Natalya did. She threw her best frowning look at them and felt pretty satisfied when they turned away. But still, those gazes left a bitter impression on Natalya's mind.

The teacher was still scribbling, so Lili continued to help with her repetitive and fluid movement. After a while, Natalya got used to it and just let her gaze rest over the petite girl's movement. Her head was so close to Natalya's arm she could actually pose on it, but she didn't. Natalya watcher her blonde and thin hair brush against her, without really touching. The girls' eyes still ached in her consciousness.

"Lili."

"Hm?"

"I don't want to scare you… If you stick with me", Natalya murmured, "People could judge you or leave you."

Lili stopped and gazed at her. "Where does this come from?"

Natalya turned her head not to face her. "The others were looking at us before."

After a moment of silence, she added: "I'm sorry".

"Natalya, I decided to do this. If someone doesn't like you being my friend… I don't need them as my friends." Lily answered in a calm tone.

"And why me?"

"…Because you're much more special than the others."

Natalya turned her head and faced a slightly-red Lili, who started to sew again, this time faster.

"Oh, now, I don't have to say it again, do I?"

A little smile perked up Natalya's lips, turning her face into a sweet and loving expression.

"You don't… thank you."

"Thank to you, too."


	5. 5

_Damn, I'm so late with this chapter. Sorry!_

 _This time_ , angst.

 _Also, there's a reference to the past of the main characters… though it probably won't come out in this installment, it will surely be revealed in the other ones I'm planning._

 _Thanks to waitineedaname to edit my ff, as usual. Enjoy and let me know your opinions on this chapter!_

…

Everything had been extremely calm lately, so calm, it was bizarre.

Sure, there were still issues, like Antonio leaving (and Francis, but that was a relief), or that irritating cop (that she had found out to be German, but she still didn't know why he tackled them), but no one had gotten into some sort of quarrel, or into troubles, in the last few weeks. Everything was static, as if the natural flow of events had stabilized in a calm routine without anyone really complaining. Maybe they all needed a pause, because things had been pretty chaotic for months. Eliza and Gilbert didn't argue that much now; Feliciano and Lovino didn't complain about their grandfather; Yao didn't have major troubles with his parents; Alfred didn't cause Arthur problems, and the latter's mother was getting a little better.

Natalya knew this was all too good to last, and felt that a storm was about to come anytime soon… she was sure of it, but at the same time, she wished this peaceful period wouldn't ever end. She hadn't felt so relaxed in ages.

She and Lili were as close as possible. They had ended up being together all the time at school, and at the bar, the two exchanged frequent and intense gazes.

Every minute Natalya spent with her little Swiss was a present. Lili had this calm aura surrounding her, which made Natalya feel like she could be herself and actually be happy.

Everything about Lili felt like being at home and Natalya had grown familiar to everything about her: her sincere laugh, her pouty face when she was disappointed, her little gestures. Sometimes, for a reason or another, their hands would end up together, and Natalya would feel her cold fingers being warmed up by Lili's touch, always gentle and caring.

And Natalya was now sure: no one was more beautiful than her. Every time she stopped her gaze on her gracious features, she found them more appealing than the last time. And the eyes, they were her favorites. She couldn't name one things she cherished more than Lili's eyes. She wasn't lying to herself when she thought they were God's best creation. Because they couldn't be anything else: around the pupil were disposed tiny, yellow thorns between a green that changed depending on the light...

Ah, those eyes.

"Natalya, what are you thinking about?"

The girl lifted her gaze and exchanged his brother's look, right across the room.

"Nothing in particular, why?"

Ivan shrugged.

"I don't think fingernails are so interesting to stare at them for twenty minutes, yes?"

Now that she thought about it, she had effectively been crouched up on the sofa and been looking at her hand while her mind continued to wander.

She turned her head downwards again.

"Hm."

They were sitting in the living room, lightened up only by two candles, one on the table and one near Ivan's place. There was a rectangular window, but at this time at night, no light could come in but the moon's.

A small coffee table divided Natalya's place from her brother's, and on the small furniture, there was a single sunflower that was changed every Monday and that both of them took care of.

Ivan turned quietly the page of his book.

"I was wondering, is something going on recently?"

Natalya's body tensed, but continued not to look at Ivan.

"Why do you ask?"

"You look happier lately, or am I mistaken?"

Natalya felt her cheeks coloring up. Her brother was extremely sensitive of her emotions, and vice versa. They liked to spend a lot of time doing their preferred activities, and enjoying each other's company quietly. They cared deeply for each other, and at last, living alone for these years had made them strengthen their bond even more.

"Maybe it's your idea."

Ivan giggled. "Yes, it could be."

"But the same goes for you", Natalya replied. "You have been looking more serene lately."

"I would lie if I said I wasn't," Ivan said with a smile on his lips. Natalya was now looking intently at him. It was the truth: her brother had been reserved and gloomy ever since that disgraceful day years ago, and never had many friends; but now, she saw him often smiling, talking with a happy tone, even making her smile with his innocent attitude (though she knew he was a very complicated man deep inside). She hadn't seen her brother acting so… like himself in years, and this change of attitude made her truthfully happy.

"I'm so glad, Ivan."

"I am too. I will tell you the reason, sooner or later. Will you tell me yours?"

"Sure."

After a moment of awkward silence, Ivan asked her if she was hungry, and since it seemed they both were, he stood up and went to the kitchen, leaving the book on the small coffee table. Natalya was glad his brother liked to cook, because she was terrible at it.

She wondered if Lili ever cooked. She looked like that kind of person who prepared delicious meals and cakes.

She shook her head, and posed her naked feet on the ground to take a peek at the book her brother was reading.

It was a poetry book. Maybe he had to study it for his course, or he had taken it for his personal interest. Sometimes she felt slightly envious of him. He liked to cook, to draw, to read and compose poetry. She felt like her personality wasn't that interesting at all compared to his. He had always had this kind of 'melancholic-and-artistic' atmosphere around him, while she felt very plain with her only interests being math and books.

She held the brown tome and traced with her fingers the golden letters of the title.

 _When I have time, I have to take a look at this book._

"Natalya, would you mind to please come and prepare the table? Also, you should give Katyusha a call."

Without answering, she placed the heavy tome on the small table, to then bend and blow out the small candles that still burnt quietly, one on the table, and one near the armchair.

Natalya entered the lightened kitchen and leaned on the white wall while dialing the phone number.

She observed her brother taking the ingredients out of the fridge.

" _Yes, hello?"_

"Hi Katya."

" _Natalya!"_ Her sister squealed. _"How are things going?"_

Natalya traced the red and white tiles of the floor with her big toe. "Everything is fine, thanks."

Before Katyusha could continue, she added: "Both for me and Ivan."

Natalya heard a relieved sigh on the other sound of the receiver. _"Oh, I'm so glad. Dad is fine too. Dad, there's Nat on the phone!"_

An excited greeting came from the phone, and Natalya smiled.

" _He's reading the newspaper. Now that we're in November, the factory is very productive and we don't have a free minute, except for late in the evening."_

"I see. It's really cold now, right?"

" _Oh, you can really say that again."_

The two chatted for a while, and in the meantime, Natalya glanced at her brother preparing an omelet.

"You're fine too, Katya, right?"

" _Yes, everything is okay. Though I miss my little siblings"_ , the oldest said with a sad note in her voice, _"But I'm sure happy they're doing fine."_

Natalya missed her, too. "Same goes for us."

" _Call us when you can, okay?"_

"Sure."

" _I love you."_

"I love you too. Take care."

…

Here was the shitstorm.

The whole bar stopped in a second of pure astonishment, in which no one dared to make a noise and silence filled heavily the room.

 **T** hen, she felt her muscles tensing and pumping, and her reflexes activating. But as soon as she was up, Elizabeta had already threw a punch in Gilbert's face in a momentum of rage, and was now starting to raise her left arm to harm him again.

Now another blow. Elizabeta was on him and had started beating him with all of her force. Natalya could see Gilbert not reacting to the violence, just laying defenseless on the ground and not making a movement to protect from her merciless rage.

Blood started to spread.

Natalya was the first to reach for her forearms, both lifted up in the action. She could feel Eliza struggle with all of her force in the opposite direction she was pulling from to free from her grip, but Natalya kept firm and obliged her to get up.

"Let me go! Let me go!"

The albino stayed still, his pale face covered in thick blood. While Natalya still felt Elizabeta shaking furiously, the only movement she saw him do was to reach out a white hand and touch lightly his nose. He then slightly opened up his eyes and absently observed the blood. Those present, Arthur, Alfred, Feliciano and Francis had run up around him, and Vash had shouted something, though she hadn't really payed attention to it. Gilbert seemed to be in a trance.

"Elizabeta, we're going."

 **"L** et me go…" she continued to cry out, this time dramatically weaker. Natalya left the grip and put her arm around her shoulders, moving her closer and turning back to head towards the exit. While hurrying, she saw Lili going their opposite way with a first aid kit between her hands and shot her a glance that hoped she would understand. Without any more distraction, she grabbed their coat on the coat hanger to then rush out while the bell tingled furiously.

Elizabeta was now crying furiously, and as soon as they stepped outside, Natalya took a minute to hug her tightly. She felt her shaking under very heavy sobs, and caressed her brunette head. Eliza didn't seem like stopping anytime soon.

They had planned for Natalya to sleep at Elizabeta's villa, though Natalya guessed she wouldn't have liked her parents' unbearable questions.

"You come to my place tonight." she said calmly, and Elizabeta nodded.

Natalya hoped they wouldn't meet anyone, because Elizabeta wasn't clearly in the condition to talk, let alone deal with the hooligans that went around at that time at night. Their reputation was soiled by the beatings done in the past, and while some people went along with them, others would've much liked to take revenge.

…

Paying attention to unusual noises or voices, the two managed to get into the metro, almost deserted, with only a few high people in the corners. It was cold, and Eliza kept being silent, although Natalya knew she had many tears she was holding back.

They eventually managed to hop on the train and arrive harmless at Natalya's. The Russian opened the door slowly, to not wake her brother up, if he was in.

Elizabeta stepped inside and they both started to take off their footwear in the shoe rack.

"Go into my room, yes?"

While her friend went quietly, Natalya looked in astonishment inside the little wooden furniture. It looked like an unusual, extra pair of shoes was in there.

The room was slightly illuminated by the moon's light, and what she was seeing was only a dark outline, but she felt the blood suddenly running cold in her veins anyway. She had seen that shape somewhere else.

She decided not to mind it, and tiptoed to her room, where she saw Elizabeta sitting stiffly on the bed.

"Hey, make yourself at home." She said while taking off her coat.

Elizabeta started to sigh, but within that single breath her body started shaking again and she rapidly clamped her mouth to avoid crying.

Natalya took from her closet some purple pajamas and handed it to her friend.

"I'm going to prepare you a glass of milk."

She tried to sound as sweet as possible, although her serious tone wasn't really cooperating. She exited and half-closed the door to let her privacy.

Before going to the kitchen, she turned her head to look at her brother's room door, from which came thankfully no sound.

Maybe Ivan had bought that pair of shoes, and they looked smaller just because she had seen them in the dark. Yes. That was it.

Her mind being eaten up by the doubt, she advanced in a slow pace to the infamous wooden door, and wrapped her fingers around the handle.

Was she scared? She never was, but now she could feel her heartbeat pumping in her ears, and the same cold feeling that had showed up before. She took a deep breath to relax her tensed muscles, and carefully opened up the door just to lighten up until the end of the bed.

On the floor, Natalya saw a pile of clothes, and she immediately recognized, showing up from the lowest layer, a ripped jacked with a Chinese dragon emblem sewn over where the heart is.


	6. 6

_Hi! Sorry for the wait. I'm in Italy in my native city for the holidays, so I don't have much time to write and it was complicated to even manage to post this one due to wifi problems. I'll continue as soon as possible, even with my other fic._

 _Hopefully you'll like this chapter, enjoy and leave a review! The proofreading was done by nobodys-handmaid._

* * *

 _I hate everyone. I want all of them to be dead. No, actually, just Yao dead would be fine. I think I'll kill him with my own hands. Strangling him would be fine. Yes, that would work. Or maybe it's better to stab him?_ "Natalya, are you okay?"

"What makes you think I'm not?"

Lili's face said it all. Natalya tried to relax her nerves, but she didn't manage to stop scowling. She passed her hand on her brows.

"I'm perfectly fine, really. "

 _It's not like yesterday I found out that one of my friends is having sex with my brother._

Lili frowned and turned her head by the other side, wrinkling her tiny nose. "I see. You don't want to tell me."

Natalya's heart bumped in her chest. "No, it's not like that!"

"Yes it is."

"No it isn't."

Lili shot her a stern look and started to eat her sandwich again. They were in the hallway of school, after the classes. They had finished pretty early that day and they were casually talking before going home.

"Listen, it's very serious."

Lili munched slowly, closing her eyes.

"Don't ignore me."

No answer.

"Jeez, okay, okay, I'll tell you!"

Natalya was seriously amazed at how her personality changed while being with Lili. Usually she wouldn't have given up so easily with anyone; but she was completely at Lili's mercy.

Lili eyed her and smirked, satisfied.

"Would you like to go for a walk?"

Natalya shrugged. For once, it wasn't raining. Maybe it wasn't a bad idea.

They went in the class. No one was there; it was almost surreal. Probably the only person in the school apart from them was the janitor.

Windows were open; Lili hurried to wear her Bordeaux colored coat and close the big windows, wind ruffling through her hair. "Brr! It's April but it's still really cold, isn't it?"

"Yeah." Natalya said while closing the buttons of her own coat. "You sure you want to go outside?"

"Yes, let's take some fresh air."

The two left their backpacks in class, deciding to pick them up after the walk. They were moving side by side without saying a word. Natalya felt really small compared to that huge and majestic building that was the school. She wondered if Lili felt that sense of bewilderment too.

"Here we are. "

They had arrived at the back garden. They surely weren't supposed to open the little door (probably the only tiny one in the whole facility) and go there, but neither of them did really care.

The air was cold, but pervaded of a spring scent. You could see, far behind the brick wall, the tops of the London's houses, contrasting with the gray sky.

The flowerbeds were organized in a grid, so that there were white paths all around the garden. On the sides of the large plot of land, there were fences where roses used to grow. Lili skittered towards the white buds and brushed them gently.

"Look, they're about to bloom. I bet it's a beautiful view in spring."

"Mhh-mhh."

Natalya wasn't really looking at the flowers, but at the tiny person with red cheeks and warm smile, whose gentle gesture towards the buds was full of tenderness.

They started walking slowly. The grass was still soaked by yesterday's rain.

"Yesterday, after I took Eliza home with me," Natalya prompted out of nowhere, "I found another pair of shoes in the shoe rack. And looking in Ivan's room, I found Yao's clothes on the floor."

Lili's eyes widened and stared at her in shock.

"I wonder how long has this been going on. I can't believe Yao and Ivan didn't tell me anything. Hell, I didn't even know they knew each other."

Her voice was flat, but she could feel her vocal chords resonating with anger and resentment.

"Ivan was happier recently. I tried to do my best for years, to cheer him up, to let him talk with me. He said nothing. And suddenly, everything is clear." She took a shaking breath. "My brother doesn't need me, and my friend has taken my place without me knowing. I feel… betrayed. Useless."

She wouldn't cry. She pressed her lips together and blinked. She hadn't realized she had stopped moving and was clenching her fists.

Lili looked at her with wide eyes and touched lightly her friend's hand, ticking it lightly. She managed to open it and brought their hands together.

"Keep talking."

They started to go on again, this time with their hands joined together.

"I miss Katya and Dad." She said, this time with more strain. "And, and… "

She was stuttering now.

"I can't take care of anyone. Eliza is bad. Lovino is bad. Maybe Arthur and Feli are the only ones who don't need my help, because who would need me?" Tears ran down her face. "I can only do math! For the rest, I'm, I'm-"

"Don't you dare", Lili interrupted suddenly, "Say anything like this again. You are offering Eliza as much help as she needs and Lovino is in a difficult situation because of Antonio. He is the one running away from everyone who tries to talk with him… even his brother. Everything that you said, it's not your fault. And you are precious to all of them. They love you and you helped out in many situations… like that one time with Arthur. They need you. _I_ need you."

She took a deep breath for a moment. "Say something this stupid again and I'll… _punch you."_

She had probably tried to sound intimidating, but only managed to get Natalya laugh through the tears.

"Hey, don't mock me! I'm serious here!" Lili chirped, but she had a smile on her face too.

Natalya patted her head with her free hand. "Thanks. You really make me feel better."

"You're welcome. But don't make me angry. Also, I wish I could be as good at math as you."

Natalya smiled and observed her features. Like that one time in the bathroom, she felt the urge to kiss her. She got lost in the green of her. It wasn't the first time, but it felt different.

The smiles quickly disappeared, because they were too lost in the contemplation of the worlds behind their gazes.

 _She's so beautiful._

Lili batted her eyes, and then closed them. Natalya gently put her white hands on the other's neck, brushing against her blond hair. She slowly leaned on and finally, they kissed.

It was her first time, and it felt so _unreal._ But the lips were there, soft and almost sweet, pressing against hers, and she could feel Lili's breathing between their mouths.

She delicately pulled out and brought their cold tips of the nose together. "Why wouldn't you let me kiss you that time?"

Lili looked up to her. "We were in the school bathroom in the middle of the lesson."

 _Damn._ "Okay," she replied, before hurriedly meeting her lips again.

This time, it felt more intense. She had wanted this for so long. She continued to lean into her, simply and passionately, Lili kissing back naturally without any fear. Her arms moved and enclosed the petite girl in a tight embrace.

"I love you…" she murmured between a kiss and the other. She opened her eyes without noticing and met with Lili. Both of them blushed furiously, but smiled while their lips were still together.

In that moment, nothing really mattered to Natalya anymore. The only one who had never asked her something was Lili. And maybe that's why she was giving her all of herself.

They didn't know and she didn't want them to know.

After the _thing_ happened, she hadn't seen any of the group, but Lili at school: and she was her happiness, her peace. She was done with any of the other's shit. Natalya didn't even want to talk with them anymore. She avoided the gang and Ivan, closing herself in her room when he was home.

"Natalya," Lili said at a certain point, "everyone at the bar asks me of you… what should I say?"

"That you don't know… screw them. You're enough for me."

Lili closed her eyes and hugged her. She was sure that Natalya was hurt and didn't want to get harmed any more, but she couldn't say anything about her decisions.

Natalya spent most of her days now reading. She had always been an avid reader, but now she consumed more and more books. She had especially liked that book of poetry that her brother was studying. The Petrarchan sonnets reminded her of Lili.

She often found herself lost in thought. Obviously, mostly about that _Ivan and Yao_ thing. She still couldn't believe it. She felt her body tremble with blind rage every time she relived what she had seen that evening. She couldn't believe it, she couldn't even imagine it… but it had been under her eyes. What probably unsettled her most about it, was that neither of them had told her. And then, obviously, was the jealousy, and the regret of not having been able to do _enough;_ but Lili reminded her every day that she had done her best and it was not her fault. Maybe she was starting to be convinced about it. Most of the time, her thoughts weren't that rational, but an unordered flow of emotions that overcame her. But she had eventually found her peace after some time, and started to accept the displeasing feeling.

One evening, while relaxing on the couch, she heard the doorbell ring. _Unusual,_ she thought, _usually no one visits us._

She disclosed the curtains and horrifyingly saw Elizaveta, Yao, Arthur, Alfred and the twins. She opened the window and shouted angrily: "GO AWAY!"

"LET US IN!" was the unanimous answer. Natalya glared at them.

"I DON'T WANT YOU!"

"AND WE WANT YOU!"

Natalya covered her face with her hand. They wouldn't have given up that easily, would they?

She put her slippers on, deciding now to let them in, and a thick sweater to resist the cold. She descended two floors of her building feeling slightly irritated.

"Hey."

"NATALYA, OH MY GOD NATALYA!"

Feliciano, Lovino, and Elizaveta jumped on her, not letting her breathe. "Where were you? You made us worried y a lot, you idiot!"

 _Now_ she felt bad about avoiding them. She kept her face composed, but felt guilty seeing their faces as they pulled out of/away from the embrace. Her eyes landed on Yao, smiling behind them; and she quickly looked away.

"We missed you too." Arthur simply said, not needing to show physically his fondness of her.

"Yeah, what happened?"

At Yao's question, Natalya's head abruptly straightened and glared at him coldly. "Yao, I know what you do with my brother. And I do not wish to talk with you about it. You come into my house while I don't know and do it with Ivan? I don't call that friendship." She attacked firmly.

She saw Yao's face fall, and smirked. The others had shocked expressions on their faces too.

"You others, are you okay?"

"Yes, yes, we are… "They murmured.

"Lovino?" She eyed him.

"Yeah, I'm good." He answered absently." Antonio has already sent me a letter. But, listen," he suddenly said, turning to Yao, "If it's like that, you really are a shithead, aren't you?"

"Yeah," Arthur nodded, his eyes still wide open and incredulous, "You're a shithead."

Yao tried to stammer out something, but no word came out of his mouth. His expression was that of someone caught committing a crime.

Elizaveta stepped on. "We're talking with Yao later. But are you coming back?"

"Yeah," she stated, sounding extremely calm. "But don't worry about Yao, I'll beat him myself."

Feliciano hugged Natalya and patted her back. "Natalya…"

She caressed his head. "I'm sorry for making you worry. Those days I had a lot of my mind."

Elizaveta smiled. "I want my old Nat back."

She nodded. "We have a lot to talk about, too."

"I want to know the new shit too." Lovino jumped in.

"But Yao." Natalya suddenly said, staring at him and feeling that rage that had worked up for days now. "I'm not joking. If I find you around again, I won't be able to stop myself. You've done the worst you could to me. And you'll pay for that."

Yao didn't answer, simply looking back at her. He was probably wondering how she could've found out, or maybe what to do now; but Natalya wasn't interested in any of that. She was willing to talk with the others again; but she had said it at first, when she had known them. The only thing she expected was loyalty. And Yao had definitely broken the rule.


End file.
